After thousands of years of being sclaves, we dogs have been blessed with the gift of intelligence and now declare our independence. We wish to be treated the same as humans and all of our canine brethren are invited to come and take part in this new country: The Doggish Republic of Doggia!

Also, this is our land.

The International Resort and Spa Corporation is the foremost in modern-day resorts. We have many small tracts across the globe.

Contact the Tourism Board for a brochure relating to a resort of your choice.

We are proud to announce that our dog scientists have studied bipedism and now dogs can handle the same machinery and weapons as humans

Our dog military is becoming stronger and stronger as each day passes. Today we are proud to announce the formation of the Elite Dog Sniper Platoon Number 1. More of this platoons will be trained to be the best sharp shooters in the world.

War is enevitable, suffering is not.
Ultima mercenary Co. will offer our highely trained mercenanries to any nation. they are willign to fight in your wars so that your civilain popualtion cna remain un affected.
you may contact us at our antarctic base or at one of the many ocnflicts we are present in a peace keepign nature

The angelic creatures known as Artias have descend to this plane and founded the nation of Artanuim in order to bring the eternal light of wisdom to the natives of this planet.

Fear not mortals, for those who live honest lives have nothing to fear from us.

A map featuring the lands of Artanium.

This truly is a very nice place!

>>68

We have no gay people here!

>>70
>>69
dude if you use a tripcode we know you are samefagging :|

>69

This man speaks the truth.

Carry go bring come sez Raste Culcha be 'ere. We 'ere fi di cooly.

>>71

I am not samefagging. No sir! I am not!

Deep within the Congo basin tribal drums can be heard across the jungle.

Early Stages of fungal growth have begun.

The barbarians in the north have tried to tame us.
But they ended up being tamed instead...
New Export Resource: Slaves.

Whereas we, the Archangels, are immortal, Artias have mortal needs.
We wish to import food and other things mortals use. We are also interested into the knowledge of this world. We wish to educate our people so that they would produce food on their own.
We aren't using any currencies, so we are willing to trade with our finest medicines, holy water, blessed wings or other things the mortals of this plane should be interested in.

UMC has made a major new tehconligcal discovery
by rifleign the barrles of our guns we have gained a signifacant increase in rnage and accuracy

It seems some nations regard us as some sort of "higher" holy beings. Well, they are correct for the most part. They have willingly joined Artanium.

>>77
Mad Rico 'ere. I gi lambsbread fi di dread water. Deal?

>>78
Oy yah hummies made guns shootier? Weez be wanten some um dat.

If yah wanten' to trade for em, den weez got some grots what make good target praktice.

>>81
We are willing to do so. You have our blessings.

>>82
we will accpet your trade greenskin, though we woudl prefer greenskin auxliaris for our forces to target grots.
please rember that oru new rifles are reltivly delicate and require skill to handle

>>84
Ahhh this is the begining of a bewtiful relationship humies.

The boys go where the fighin's is, so whens you got someone ta' crump then maybe some of the boys will join yah.

P.S. About the shootier guns. We broke them. The mek boys are seeing to try and make em more brake proof.

>>83
Dread water make herb fit fas'. I gi Artanium baddest cooly and Zion's blessings.

The first order of business for A Very Nice Place is to sail up the Caspian sea, settling where we deem fit to settle. These people have accepted us as their rulers and we will treat them very, very nicely, and with the utmost respect.

And once again, we are not gay.

Mad Rico sez di Culcha grows. I gettin' fine ganja from Colombia.

The Waaagh rumbles on. Spores and fungus has started to spread threw out the Congo basin. The sounds of mekboys at work can be now heard along with the drums.

>>91
We were to busy fightin' with each other to post da map.

We have set up a trade and recruitment oupost near greenskin terrotry.
in other new we have develop a glorious STEAM POWERED BOAT!

Hello, patrons.

The I.R.S. Corporation announces its brand new Holographic Simulation Technology. Live out your fantasies in real-time! Complete with 100% interactivity (including the ability to feel, smell and taste).

Examples of programming:
Pleasure simulation: simulate sex, food and anything your neural connection dictates.
Battle simulation: simulate war, slaughter and anything your neural connection dictates.

Safety-free simulations are not recommended and can cause death to real-world participants. We recommend only using this setting for duel simulations.

Interested parties, please contact the Sales Department.

Thank you for your continued patronage!

Richard Baker, CEO
International Resort and Spa

We have begun settling further and further inland.

These people love us. They are welcoming us with open arms! We are not taking their land by force.

>>94
We are interested in this offer and would like to provide your company with slaves in exchange for letting us use this amazing machinery for training our troops.

>>94
we are also interested in this technolgy.
we can offer promises of defense for your nation if attack

>>97
Dear Spot:

Thank you for your interest in our technology; however, we do not accept slaves as a commodity. If there is another resource you can offer, we will consider it.

Sincerely, Richard Baker, CEO
International Resort and Spa

>>98
Mr. Edward,

We are happy to agree to protection terms. We thank you in advance. We will start construction of a Holographic Simulation Facility in a location of your choosing. The default program will be 'Realtime Combat Simulation', a completely realistic simulation of randomly generated battles and situations.

In addition, a subprogram that will allow your soldiers to believe the simulation is real to increase training effectiveness will be installed. It will remain disabled by default.

Yours Truly,
Richard Baker, CEO
International Resort and Spa

>>94
Simulation? Yu dam Lagga head bud. Simulation nut nuttin. Black up wit' di cooly of di Culcha 'stead.

Di Culcha has plenty Colombian ganja fit fi black up after spreadin'.

>>99
if you could ship it to our anartic HQ with the sub program active.

>>100
Dear Mad Rico,

what?

Sincerely,
Richard Baker, CEO
International Resort and Spa

>>101
It's done, Mr. Edward.

Da orks have used the humies steam powered boats to sail the rivers of the congo, and also added more dakka to them, with HUGE cannons.

So the island humies came up with a way of fighin' without actually fightin'. That just ain't proppah.

Modification of steam boat technogly has created STEAM TANKS. these are capable of fireing steam missiles. this teck is bieng kept secret from the orks

Irie, bredda. Judge Ganja here.

Mad Rico apparently has trouble making his position clear to the other nations of the world, so he has requested that I act as his translator.

Mad Rico offers to build coffeehouses in every nation except for the lands under the control of International Resort & Spa.
We will be happy to trade hookers, marijuana, sugar, rum, coffee, yams and bananas in exchange for what you have to offer.
Due to recent expansions, we also have access to samples of exotic life from the Amazon that we're also willing to trade.

>>108
could we request that you build oen of said houses at our antartic base to provide R&R for our soldiers

>>109
You got it, bredda - on the condition that the smoking of marijuana is legal within the coffeehouse. We like to share the spiritual nature of the Tree of Life with others.

With a crack of thunder, the former Duke stumbles out upon the land. The newcomer's clothes and equipment were covered in smoking black blood and bile, eating slowly away at all that he had left to his name until Henry managed to locate a nearby stream and cleansed himself, both in mind and body.

He lived. And this time, he wouldn't fail.

UMC offers a welcoming hand to this mysterious newcomer

>>111

>>112

Your welcome is most appreciated...It's been a while since I last heard a human voice. But do not worry, I have not lost all sense of humanity...he can't take everything away from me...not yet. I must build. I must fortify. He can't find me yet. Not yet. Now's not the time...

>>113
The Rastafarian Culture welcomes you to our world. Mad Rico offers to share a chillum chalice with you so that the corruption may be burned from your heart. Over this chalice, he also wishes to offer you an alliance.
Do you accept?

>>114

I accept this alliance with you, but I shall not partake of your drugs, for its slight hallucinogenic properties might bring more adverse affects than benefits. He might see me too early...

>>115
Ganja is not a drug. Ganja is the healing herb, ganja is the Tree of Life. It brings spiritual insight and spiritual healing.
However, Mad Rico accepts that many in the world still remain ignorant to what is spiritual and what is not.

Just remember - do not use IRS 'simulation' in the place of Culture materials. Spiritual over virtual.

Onwards, we push, ensuring our people have free elections, as long as they remember to elect who we tell them to. We welcome our new constituency!

Doggia has extended her reach to the nearby islands, and with this comes a new resource: fish and even more slaves.
But as too many dogs have moved in since the Doggish Republic of Doggia has been formed, we find ourselves in a dire need for dog houses. That is why we will now start importing wood and nails.

Exports: Slaves and Fish
Imports: Wood and Nails

Though the process is moving far too slowly for Duke Von Berengar's tastes, people fall under his sway and become his minions, up to the point where he finally leads a city-state: New New Berenburg, though the people don't ask why it is named as such, seeing how there was never a New Berenburg, or a Berenburg, for that matter. He speaks eloquently enough, and offers technology and protection, but there's this feeling of...wrongness...about him. That, and the mad mumblings that people overhear sometimes, but that's to be expected from such an 'eccentric' persona.

Our boats have finally landed on the North coast of Egypt. We begin the long trek South to Zion.

The people of these lands are welcoming us with open arms. We have not gassed ethnic minorities! Anyone who says so, is wrong. Because we have no WMD's.

concenred by othe nations milatry development UMC unveils
THE FSL or flying submarine legion.
coplete with cannons that fire tanks that fire soldiers

We have arrived at Zion! The holy land is ours!

at the bequest of the sri-lanaka goverment UMC forces have been deployed to quell a major tahmil uprising

Doggia continues to expand further. Our army needs better opponents, these barbarians are no match for our mighty fangs.

Can't stop expanding. More resources. More people. Better technology. We need it all, and more, if our scheme will work. They'll all be surprised. Especially Him.

>>128
Seriously, bredda. You need some of this shit - you're talking to yourself.

>>129

I'm not crazy, just a bit mad. Well, maybe more than a bit, but I'm still sane. I'm sane. I must be sane. If I was insane, wouldn't I realize I was insane by now? It couldn't have snuck up on me this quic--NO. I'm SANE.

>>130
...
Seriously, bredda. Just one toke and all your troubles drift away.

Conquering these lands, we've been able to meet with some of the locals. They're so friendly! I think we should make one the head of this new region!

>>131

They never go away. They're always watching, especially at night. They know I'm watching them watching me, so they stay just outside, but they're always looking in, waiting for a moment of weakness but I'm not weak of course not I just gave in once oh it hurt so much why did I not resist Oh god they all died because of me all that blood everywhere their screams I still hear their screams but I escaped Him oh yes he wants me but He can't reach me not yet I'm still watching them waiting for them and I will gain the upper hand this time just wait and see oh yes they will all see everything will be better though they don't believe me now they will everyone will when the time comes but not now now we wait now we bide our time and watch the watchers

The influence of Zion spreads! Increasing pressure on Brazil has caused them to legalize marijuana in certain areas, making them ripe for Culture expansion!

We are also bringing peace to the landscape around Zion - with so much war and hostility around, all the bredren and sistren need a little bit of tranquility and ganja.

Everything's alright...for now. Do not worry anymore about me, everything is fine at the moment. I just suggest that you keep a fair distance away from the Citadel. It's safer that way, for everyone involved.

The Dogs Cannot Be Stopped.
Every tribe of barbarians falls under our paws. We now have so many slaves we are using them as target practice material.

>>136
Hey, listen, bredda. It's a free world, right? No need to be taking slaves all the tine. Give 'em a bit of ganja, sweet-talk 'em a bit and I am sure you'll get along just fine. No need for slavery, you hear?

>>136
at the bequest of multiple tribal leader the UMC has deployed a large number of trrops to northern russia

>>138
troop deployment information attached

Dear Investors,

We're pleased to announce the newest addition to our resort family is under construction. SeaResort 1 will be fully emerged and complete with over 120 state rooms, a grand dining hall, five bars and several aquariums, amongst others.

Plans to expand SeaResort 1 with upgrade modules are in effect.

Reserve a room today!

Sincerely, Richard Baker, CEO
International Resort and Spa

>>139
I see dogs are not liked among the men of UMC. Remove your men before we are forced to chew through them. If you retreat now, you can have 5.000.000 slaves... We have too many already.

>>141
Judge Ganja here.
If Ultima Mercenary Co. accepts this deal, we'll withdraw our coffeehouses from their territory.
Slavery's a bad thing.

>>141
slaves do not make good fighters or good scientists. we have no need of them. we have been hired by these tribesmen to protect them and protect them we shall

>>143
WAR IT IS THEN!
WOOF WOOF

Dog infantry, attack the target!

WAAAAAGH!

>>144
FLYING SUBMARINE COMENCE STEAM TANK BOMBING

>>145
STEAM TANKS BROADSIDE FIRE

Sniper Platoons, mow them down!

GIVE THEM HELL MEN!

As the term of our vicotry we demand you relase all slaves and forstall any furth agression agianst the northmen

Judge Ganja here.
We're sorry to see that you two had to war 'gainst one another. Still, we keep our promise.
Mister Edward and Mister Spot, please take a toke from the chillum chalice and agree on treaty terms.

We also send marijuana and faith healers to both factions and to the former slaves for free.

Back to peace, a'ight, bredren?

This is a sad day for dogs everywhere. The forces of UMC have managed to defeat us today and thus we are forced to end all aggression towards the northern tribes. Their men will be released and sent to their brethren beyond our border, but if they ever set step in doggian territory lethal force will be used on them.

Yo! Rasta Culcha!

Rowboat George here, I and I's translatin' for dese white devils. Dey good white devils, brudda.
You be barkin' up da wrong tree dere, brudda. Simulation ain't da bad shit. It ain't da anti-ganja. De spa 'nd hotel run by de whitest of white devils, see? Dey doin' all kinda crazy shit, brudda, but nuttin' dat be hatin' da ganja. See?

I tell ya, brudda, I smoked da reef once, went into da white devil simulation, man, I wished for da ganja while in dere. Smoked, I was dubble high!

Ya got to try dis shit. It ain't bad shit, brudda, see?

I and I says bye,
Da Rowboat George, Translator
International Resort and Spa

after our sucesses and the doggian withdrawal we have downsized or northern troop deploymetns

>>155
Irie, Rowboat George.
Bald-head bakra Baker got no deal. I don' wanna ketchup wit' 'im, dough. I sez di IRS 'otel-tings can 'ave coffeehouses.

>>157
Iz cool, brudda, iz relaxin'. Enough of dis white devil stuff. I and I is comin' back to da homeland 'n de boys too, we's lookin' for da best place to chill. We crash at your place, see? Smoke da ganja, pro-sper-ity. See?

Now that their leader seems to have become saner, the people of New New Berenburg have begun to spread out and claim new nearby lands.

Meanwhile, The Mad Duke continues to fortify his Citadel and begins remaking all the technologies lost during the crumbling of civilization, gathering together the brightest of his people to assist him in this endeavor.

>>158
Irie, irie - I & I sez you stop trapsing 'round bald-head bakra like Baker though. Don't want one o' me bredda lookin' like a bubu, see? Come back 'ome, dready and black up wit' di true Culcha cooly.

After spending time with the people of this world, we have come to understand many things.
One of the most peculiar things we've encounter in the ancient texts is that of an Ark, a powerful artifact lost in the ages.
We think that this artifact will prove helpful for Artanium, if it was to be found. We will now proceed into searching for this sacred item.

>>162
In exchange for an alliance, the Culture is willing to offer its angelic bredren the rights to live and wander the Rastafarian landscape as if it was their own. We also give you the rights to track down the Ark in Culture territories and the rights to use Culture resources in your hunt.

Further nations have joined Artanium.

>>163
We deeply thank you and we promise you that we will honor this alliance. The heavens will strike down anyone who dares to threat you as long as you are under the protection of our wings.

Several corpses of African-American men have been found in the Carribbean Ocean. So far, they have no idea who commited the act but it would appear that they were violently disemboweled by a machete. The local authorities have called off the information and refuse to disclose the identities of the dead men.

The ascension of the Sultan has prompted the creation of a unified Suljuk state in Turkey and Arabia, hereby known as the Sublime Ottoman State. We will expand and carry out the will of Allah by all means necessary.

>>167

Fix'd map.

For now, the people underneath the rule of the Mad Duke fortify their lands, while the Citadel seethes with energy. They remain wary of the newcomers, and will honor their commitments with the Rasta Culcha. Otherwise, they remain isolationist...for now, other than watching Austria as they were warned by their leader, though there does not seem to be any reason for it.